Fear

Just yesterday my host family and I were discussing the conditions in Chad, a country in West Africa. Apparently there has been much rebel backlash as different members of the same family are struggling to obtain power. In addition, the Sudanese crisis has spilled over their eastern border and rebel groups in the north are currently holding a Christian missionary hostage.

I will be flying into this country in one month.

I plan on remaining in Chad for less than a week as I prepare my documentation to cross the border into Cameroon, however, there is no guarantee that the country will be stable when I arrive, or remain stable while I am there.

I also learned about the shootings in Colorado today. The Youth With a Mission Training Center in Denver and the New Life Christian Fellowship church in Colorado Springs were attacked. Four young adults, two of them missionaries, were killed.

While reading in James this afternoon, I came across this passage; "Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money" Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."" James 4:13-15

I admit that the conflict in Chad has been on my mind. I don't know if I am ready to assume that kind of risk and I am frightened. However, the news in Colorado reaffirmed that we are never truly in control, no matter where we live. We are not guaranteed tomorrow, our lives are fragile and temporary and our future is held by God alone. I am trying to wrap my heart around this truth, to understand that God is always good even if He is not always safe. This is a difficult paradox to accept.